In college I confirmed just how stupid all my peers actually were, at Loreal I learned esthetics, at LiveUniverse I learned the importance of user interface design and marketing, and at Playboy I learned the beauty of airbrushing.
Combine these experiences and let me tell you all a little something: Appearance is everything.
If you come to my site, and it looks clean, clear, coherent, with properly styled newspaper titles, a cool calm color scheme, and the overall appearance of something everyone associates with a newspaper then it immediately gives me creditability I probably don’t deserve.
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, as well as trying to identify my idols. In doing so, I’ve discovered I prefer people that are completely crazy, eccentric, incredibly good at what they do, and simply bad ass.
First and foremost, I realized all my idols are actually men, which is precarious because I don’t really get along with men (too much of a pissing contest). I’ve always preferred the company of women, and as much as I love and respect them, they will always remain my heros, not my idols.
Without further ado…
Steve Jobs
This man has changed the world repeatedly with Apple, the Macintosh, NeXT, Pixar, the iPod, and now the iPhone. Behind closed doors he’s an abusive, offensive, and crude design nazi. Publicly Steve Jobs emits a charismatic, humorous, intelligent reality distortion field stronger than every AT&T 3G tower.
Barack Obama
He is married to an incredibly hot intelligent woman, he’s an insomniac who stays up all night on his Mac, he smoked a lot of weed in college, he’s black, and the fucking President of the United States of America. The man single handedly backhanded John McCain in the election, and kicked Sarah Palin and her kids to the curb like Edward Norton in American History X. Best yet, he has flip-flopped on pretty much every issue and policy he thought he believed now that has access to Government databases that contain the truth instead of just relying on Wikipedia.
Tom Morello
Harvard. Rage Against the Machine, Killing In The Name Of. Audioslave. The Nightwatchman. Need I say more?
Bill Murray
SNL. Ghost Busters 1 and 2. What About Bob? Groundhog Day. Lost in Translation. Broken Flowers.
Even if you’ve only seen one of his movies, and you have, then you already know why he is on this list.
Dave Grohl
He was the drummer for Nirvana, and he’s the lead singer of the Foo Fighters. He knows how to play every musical instrument in existence, and he’s good at all of them.
George Carlin
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.
Jon Stewart
Everyone’s favorite liberal Jew in the media.
Chris Cornell
Soundgarden. Temple of the Dog. Euphoria Morning. Audioslave. Carry On. This man can sing better than you, and no matter how lame Scream was he’s still a better singer than you.
Trent Reznor
Nine Inch Nails.
Eddie Vedder
Pearl Jam.
Johnny Depp
Edward Scissorhands. Sleepy Hollow. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Pirates of the Caribbean. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
The man has made every movie he’s ever been in, and owns his own “green” 45-acre island with 6 beaches.
Christian Bale
He’s an American Psycho who isn’t from America, Batman, and John Connor. He also verbally abuses people, including his own Mother.
Tim Burton
Best director / producer ever.
Frankenweenie. Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. Beetle Juice. Batman. Edward Scissor Hands. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Mars Attacks! Sleepy Hollow. Big Fish. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. He’s also working on a remake of Alice In Wonderland with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.
He was even a producer on James In the Giant Peach, a movie I’m actually an extra in. I was in 3rd grade at the time. I’m in the scene at the end with all the people standing around the peach on the truck. If you look closely when the police officer says something like, “Get these two out of here!” and makes a swinging motion you will see me standing there staring up with big doe eyes, a bowel cut, and wearing a stupid purple vest.
Bono and The Edge
U2.
Bill Maher
Keeping it real.
Robert Downey Jr
Entertaining bad ass actor. Iron Man. Tropic Thunder. A Scanner Darkly.
Edward Norton
Entertaining bad ass actor. Fight Club. American History X. The Incredible Hulk.
Cool and Calm
So what do all of these guys have in common?
Besides being incredibly rich and bad ass, when you put any of them in front of the camera, behind the microphone, on the stage, behind the podium, or upon the pedestal they become something more than men, they become ideas.
These men have learned in time that even if you lose your temper sometimes, that remaining cool and calm is always more powerful than violence, corruption, lies, or greed; but it’s also alright to kick your opponent’s asses occasionally.
It is because of them that my blog looks like a newspaper, I actually want everyone to think I’m an honest objective factual source of information.
Last and not least, my original intention for this post was entirely for SEO purposes. I mean you just read it, it’s an analytic keyword orgy of goodness. Ha, I even just worked the word “orgy” into this blog post.
